


this heart that i misplaced

by madnessiseverything



Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: Feelings, M/M, Mild Angst, Season 3, Soft Content Only, Tea, by which i mean jon has them, i set out to write them being fluffy but this happened instead, pre-unknowing, slight spoilers for mag 124
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-06
Updated: 2019-09-06
Packaged: 2020-10-11 08:11:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 875
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20542913
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/madnessiseverything/pseuds/madnessiseverything
Summary: They will talk once this is all over, Jon decides. There is something he can’t name yet, doesn’t want to name, pushing against his lips every time Martin shifts. Something that definitely has nothing to do with Basira and Melanie’s gossiping, has nothing to do with the way he keeps getting caught on Martin’s earnest smiles.or the one where Jon and Martin share some silence before the Unknowing.





	this heart that i misplaced

**Author's Note:**

> this is what happens when i set out to write fluff and then hymn for the missing by red starts playing. i blame this entirely on spotify.
> 
> title from hymn for the missing by red, which i had on a loop for all of this.

It’s late. Jon knows that he should be preparing; should get one final proper night of sleep before undoubtedly lying awake in the hotel tomorrow. They will be leaving early the following day, off to save the world from dancing mannequins. Jon can’t quite find the energy to be optimistic, not right now. Not when it feels like he is being crushed by fear and worry.   
  
The others reassured him that they recorded their own messages, just like he asked them to. Well, Martin reassured him, all soft smiles and worried eyes. Tim glowered at him and shoved the tape recorder over his desk. Melanie’s smile was cold when she walked in earlier. Basira gave a simple nod, dropping off both her and Daisy’s statements. Daisy didn’t come personally. Jon can’t deny that he is quite glad of that fact. The murderous glint in her eyes unsettles him.    
  
Jon sighs into the hands covering his face, his glasses pushed up to his forehead. He tries not to think about Elias, about the plan, about Martin and Melanie staying behind. They will be fine, he repeats for the fifth time in the past hour. Melanie can more than handle herself, and Martin is nothing if not stubborn. They know the idea works, they will be fine.   
  
Someone clears their throat from the door of his office and Jon looks through his fingers to find Martin standing in the doorway, two steaming cups in his hands. He smiles weakly and Jon straightens up.    
  
“Hey.” Martin’s voice is soft, as if afraid to draw attention. Jon fights to keep the frown off of his face. Martin will be fine.    
  
“Hi,” Jon responds and Martin moves further into the room. He places both cups down on Jon’s desk and pulls the free chair to sit opposite him. His hands close over the bright yellow sun smiling up at Jon from Martin’s cup.    
  
Jon looks down at the design on his own cup and his lips twitch at the cartoon cat lying facedown.  _ Not a people person _ reads the text above it and Jon vividly remembers Tim’s shit-eating grin when Jon first picked it out of the Archive’s small kitchen cupboard. How things change.    
  
Martin doesn’t say anything, not like Jon expected him to. He sits in silence, hands firmly wrapped around the cup. When Jon manages to pull his eyes away from them, Martin is looking at him with open worry.    
  
It opens a gash somewhere in Jon’s chest and he clears his throat. Martin quickly averts his eyes, red blotches quickly making their way onto his cheeks. Jon almost hides his face in his hands again. Christ, he is not equipped for this. He takes a quick sip of his tea and looks over his desk instead. Of course, the tea is precisely the way he likes it most.    
  
“Thank you,” he says belatedly. From the corner of his eyes, he watches Martin light up and berates himself for not saying it enough.    
  
“It’s no problem.” There’s a thickness to Martin’s voice and Jon carefully doesn’t examine how the gash in his chest opens a little wider. He doesn’t have time for this.    
  
They fall into silence again. It’s not uncomfortable, not by a long shot. But Jon can’t stop himself from wishing he could bring himself to talk. He doesn’t know what he would say, but the slump of Martin’s shoulders makes him want to push past his own hesitance. He doesn’t and keeps drinking the tea.    
  
They will talk once this is all over, Jon decides. There is something he can’t name yet, doesn’t want to name, pushing against his lips every time Martin shifts. Something that definitely has nothing to do with Basira and Melanie’s gossiping, has nothing to do with the way he keeps getting caught on Martin’s earnest smiles.   
  
It can wait, he tells himself. They’ll stop the world from ending, stop Elias from leaning back comfortably in his office. They can talk once Jon stops feeling the persistent need to hide any conversation from a prying murderer, once he knows Elias won’t use it against them. Once the world doesn’t end.    
  
He chances a slight smile in Martin’s direction and watches some of the tension bleed out of his face, however minor. He strengthens his resolve. They will talk later; when the weight of the world doesn’t push down on them every second of their waking hours. Jon will make sure they talk over another cup of tea, maybe somewhere other than in his cramped office. For now, he is happy to share silent glances and perfectly brewed tea. 

They will have time later.

  
  
(Six months later Jon will stumble over himself trying to keep Martin from turning away, asking any question that comes to mind. Martin will shrug him off and Jon will watch him walk away, wondering how Martin of all people turned into the coldest of them, how the one person he thought would always stick by him managed to slip away without him being there to try and stop it. Martin will leave and Jon will kick himself for not talking that night, for not talking earlier. Martin won’t look back and Jon will be left behind, alone.)

**Author's Note:**

> you can find me on [tumblr](https://extinctioniscoming.tumblr.com) and on [twitter](https://twitter.com/notanycritter). feel free to come yell and cry together with me. hope you enjoyed!


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